Self care is a viral topic of discussion as folks are confined to their homes during the COVID-19 outbreak, but this conversation looks much different if we shift it to focus on folks with marginalized identities.
We already know that LGBT folks are more likely to experience mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence, eating disorders, and other issues. Self care can be an essential step in keeping ourselves healthy during quarantine, which is proven to have numerous effects on mental health according to the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI).
Anxiety- According to the New York Times, 42.6% of Chinese citizens reported during February to be experiencing anxiety over coronavirus. I think this is one we can all relate to, but especially those who are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
Obsession- A disease outbreak can effect those with obsessive compulsive disorder by causing increased contamination obsessions, or the impulse to clean and prevent spread of germs.
Loneliness- Loneliness is also proven to have long term effects on mental and physical health, and we already know that loneliness has become an epidemic- the average person reportedly has less than one close friend according to Mashable.
Traumatic stress- People in quarantine can experience traumatic stress, as proven in a study on quarantined individuals during the SARS outbreak.
I can’t open up Instagram or Facebook nowadays without seeing an article or post about self care. This is encouraging- I’m glad people are taking the time to look out for each other and try to be helpful while social distancing. Because capitalism and busy culture have defined success in our society, prioritizing healing is an act of resistance. However, we can’t “self care” ourselves out of oppression. The social media support system our society is building through Zoom and Facebook is an important step towards community care, a more important form of care for marginalized identities, according to community organizer and researcher Nakita Valerio.
Community care makes more sense for marginalized communities, and is arguably essential to our survival. People with disabilities, mental illnesses, or lack of access to resources often cannot fully take care of themselves on their own. I would like to propose the idea that the norm in our society that we should take care of ourselves independently is a capitalist and ableist notion that ultimately drives us apart, and has sold a lot of bath bombs.
We can’t create social change or even survive as marginalized people unless we create an interdependent community. The ability to care for those who are disabled, injured, or elderly is what separates humans from our monkey- like ancestors. Besides, according to NAMI, helping others is proven to have positive physical and emotional effects on the person doing the helping.
What does community care look like? It can be large scale, such as attending protests, or small scale, such as helping a friend get groceries or texting them to check in. One important aspect for LGBT communities is validation- just being around people with similar identities can make one feel more comfortable. Alliance, the LGBT club on campus, is still having remote meetings, but some other resources include social media groups and pages.
It is also important to maintain a balance of emotional labor during community care by leveraging your privilege to help someone, without taking up their space and time or tokenizing them. For example, Blavity’s article on community care states the Golden Processing Rule: “If it takes longer than five minutes to explain your emotions to a person that doesn't understand, you should not process with them.”
Things get more difficult when we’re confined to our homes during a global pandemic. Although social media is playing a crucial role in keeping us all connected, setting up a long distance support network can be complicated. I’m still going to share self care tips because I think these are important to practice right now.
Moderate news consumption. NAMI recommends relying on one or two reliable sources, separating between local and global news (the outbreak in New York City is going to look different than the outbreak in southern New Hampshire), and practicing acceptance of things outside of your control (see Circle of Influence theory).
Take care of yourself physically. This doesn’t always just mean exercising and eating healthy, things that aren’t always accessible to all identities and abilities. Meditating, going for a walk, showering, and getting enough sleep are things to consider if you are able.
Maintain a sense of normality. Sticking to the same daily routine you did before you were uprooted from UNH is shown to help reduce stress and help you adapt.
Distractions. Things like shows, books, household chores, and virtual hangouts with friends can all help the time go by faster.
I’m sure many of these look familiar- they’re being shared all over social media right now. Queer POC activist Lauren Lofton lists questions to ask oneself for a self check in, and these are a bit more in depth.
Can I identify one hope I have for my immediate future (today, this week, this month)?
Did I eat well today (as defined by myself and not the rest of the world)?
Did I move my body in some way that could be helpful for my body’s needs?
How much sleep did I get?
How do I feel in my body?
How much water have I had today?
Have I been outside at all today?
What is one emotion that I can identify feeling today?
When is the last time I was in nature?
When is the last time I did a self-focused activity (reading for fun, listening to music, meditation, cooking for myself)?
We’re not going to get ourselves through this pandemic without self care. However, in the long term, we need to start shifting the focus of the self care conversation towards community care if we want to start making actual progress.
Laney Meldrum, she/her, WGS Program Assistant
Check out Lauren Lofton’s self care tips for activists: https://www.compasspoint.org/blog/self-care-strategies-survival-sustaining-oneself-social-justice-movements
NAMI Mental Health Coping Strategies: https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/March-2020/Coronavirus-Mental-Health-Coping-Strategies?fbclid=IwAR3tUlWBwNkjATfRgx-rcT-fPApwwsz0fCcDjnlectxDld4CYf2Ou1Hc8a8
The Trevor Project- LGBT crisis hotline: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/?gclid=CjwKCAjw95D0BRBFEiwAcO1KDAEYg7Hn0tQSwVTIBpxlLk8BKS980Cm76tJabyOifNQmKR3qKTg9SRoC7OwQAvD_BwE
Blavity’s self/community care tips: https://blavity.com/self-care-for-the-marginalized-person?category1=health&subCat=community-submitted
Read more about Nakita Valerio and community care: https://mashable.com/article/community-care-versus-self-care/
Circle of Influence theory: